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Friday 30th April

Hello my readers and welcome to Fridays blog...It is the final one of the week!! The weekend is finally here and I don't feel too go this afternoon because I have ate something dodgey today!! So my tummy isn't happy...

AMAZING and TRUE NEWS out today, doctors are investigating reports that an 83-year-old man has survived for 70 years without food or water. Seriously, this is true!! I wouldn't make this stuff up! A team of 30 medics are observing yogi Prahlad Jani and have set up two cameras to ensure that he is monitored 24 hours a day. Now people, here is a health message, just because this one man has severed without food over a long period, there is no need for you to copy him because you want to be thin...You might get yourself ill!! I am saying this because I CARE FOR YOU!

...Anyway, Dr G. Ilavazahagan, who is directing the research in the Indian city of Ahmedabad, said: "The observation from this study may throw light on human survival without food and water. This may help in working out strategies for survival during natural calamities, extreme stressful conditions and extra-terrestrial explorations like future missions to the Moon and Mars by the human race." So in other words, this man is ODD!!

Now, an overweight police in Nepal have reportedly been told that they must lose weight to have any hope of being promoted. Haha!! Thats a bit rude!! What would you do if you ever went to a job interview and the boss of the workplace told you that??? I know what I would do...I would tell him where to stick it! Anyway, following complaints from the public, the Nepalese Police Headquarters in the capital of Kathmandu has urged officers to get fit if they are to progress in their career, AFP reports. Spokesman Bigyan Raj Sharma said: "When you are fat, you look lousy and it's obvious that perception of people towards you is not positive. They don't trust you." Yeah BUT fat can stop people from getting away...Those big people can block the door! Ahhh you see, you never thought of that!

In the news at the moment, all you can hear is stuff about those three men throwing things out of their prams! Well here is some better news for you...Have you ever seen a HUGE horse?? Well get your head around this beast! A 9-year-old Belgian gelding has been named the tallest living horse on earth after being measured at 6ft, 10.75 inches tall, equal to more than 20 hands!! WOW!! He beat the previous Guinness World Record holder - a Clydesdale from Texas named Remington - by 2.75 inches.

Big Jake is believed to weigh approximately 1,180 kilograms. Wooooooooo!! OK OK! You can close your mouth now!! Thats the blog done for today!! And it will return on Bank Holiday Monday! Have a nice weekend!

BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY
Monday 3rd May

Hellooooooooo and welcome back to the daily blog!! So the weekend was pretty rubbish weatherwise, lets be honest and sadly, I've been ill all weekend because of that cake I was telling you about in Fridays blog but I am much better today!! So it is Bank Holiday Monday...Today is that day which loads of people have off work, BUT NOT ME! Don't you worry, because I will be on air tonight from 7pm!!

Right, serious question now, Would you ever eat a LIGHT BULB??? ...I thought that too! Well there is this CRAZY Chinese man who says for the past 40 years he's snacked on broken glass from lightbulbs, adding that he finds them "crispy and delicious."! SERIOUSLY, this is TRUE! 54-year-old Wang Xianjun, from the Sichuan province of China, claims he started eating light bulbs when he was 12 years old, and that he must have now eaten about 1,500 lightbulbs in total. Well at least we know what his body is made up of!! LITTLE KIDS, PLEASE DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!! Thank you!

Xianjun says it all started when he accidentally swallowed a large fish bone as a child. His parents were worried what the bone might do to his insides, but he didn't feel any discomfort at all. This experience led him, out of curiosity, to try swallowing a small chunk of broken glass. (Well, why not? Oher than possibly killing yourself.) Again, he felt no adverse effects. There is ONLY one word to describe this man...WEIRDO!!

Old people can be very BAD!! A say that because of this I found this morning...A German pensioner has reportedly been fined for terrorising his local swimming pool. The retired teacher, identified in The Local as Axel G., was charged with repeatedly performing forbidden cannonball dives, or Arschbomben. WHAT??? Can you really call that terrorising?! The 74-year-old was accused of terrorising fellow swimmers for years with his explosive dives, spitting in the water and even dunking a young girl underwater. Appearing at Alzey district court, he initially denied all of the charges, but CCTV footage of the pool revealed evidence of the disruptive behaviour. Axel G was reportedly fined €14,000 (£12,000).

Tuesday 4th May

Afternoooooon readers!! Welcome to the blog! I am getting really confused with the days already!! All day, I've been thinking its Monday! I bet you've been thinking the same...Don't lie!! Just so you know, it is TUESDAY afternoon and this week is going to go FAST!

Now, what would you do to get away from someone or thing really fast?? I would pinch them or something and then run BUT there is a strange man out there somewhere who did more than pinching! A prisoner cut off part of his ear so he could escape from an ambulance on the way to hospital, Greater Manchester Police said. OUCHHHH!! But True! Michael O'Donnell who is 28, told staff at Forest Bank prison in Salford at around 1.30am on Sunday that he had been injured in his cell. An ambulance was called to take him to Hope Hospital, also in Salford, but on the way four masked men pulled up in a stolen BMW...So in other words, this man just wanted to get out of jail!! Sorry if you are eating right now but I wanted to share that with you!!

I don't know about you but I HATE HATE HATE lifts!! There is a left here at MTJR HQ, I will never use it! I always use the stairs because I want to keep fit and I would hate to be stuck in a lift! And this puts me off even more; More than 80 emergency service personnel were called out to rescue six stag party revellers who plummeted 100ft in a hotel lift accident, police have said. The drama happened when the lift plunged to beach level at the Hotel Victoria, in Newquay, Cornwall. Coastguard, firefighters and police officers safely evacuated the men from the lift.

Ahhhhh...Thats it for today!! Oh, I'm back on MTJR tonight from 7pm with THE BIG SHOW so tune in!! You won't hear anything else like it anywhere else!

Wednesday 5th May

Howdy!! Wow this week is going fast!! Finally Evening show of the weekend on air tonight from 7pm...Tune in to hear a bit of everything!! You wouldn't hear a show like this anywhere else! Today is World Asthma Day...So I hope you are celebrating it well...Keep breathing slowly and don't over do it! Get someone else to cut the grass for you or something...Just stick your feet up and relax! And Tomorrow is an important day because ITS ELECTION DAY!! Woohoo!! Thank god this day has finally come...Now they might stop talking about it everywhere...OR MAYBE NOT!

BIG news to share with you first! An Indiana County woman has been charged with having sex with a horse, state police at Indiana said Tuesday. Dovie Lee Kerner, 46, of Plumville also allegedly had sex with other animals including a dog and a pig, court documents state. SORRY, I thought you might be interested to know this! The investigation began in November 2008 when it was reported by two officials from the Humane Society of Indiana County, police said.

One of the officials said she received a phone call from a confidential informant who asked her if it was illegal to have sex with an animal. When told yes, the informant said he had a video on his cell phone of Kerner having sex with a horse, court documents state. Because of Kerner's alleged sexual activities with other men and animals, the informant, who had dated the woman, and his Jack Russell terrier both contracted sexually transmitted diseases, court documents state. I feel sorry for men she dated!! Kerner is charged with two counts each of obscene and other sexual materials and performances and disorderly conduct and one count of sexual intercourse with an animal. WOOHOOO!! Our pets/wildlife and everything else on this planet is now SAFE!

Now how do you wear your trousers??? Serious question that!! I wear mine normally but a bit low... Good news here for the boys who wear their trousers low, a proposal to legally ban a teenager from wearing his trousers so low that the public could see his underpants has been rejected!! Yaya! You can now all go and party!! I'll have a pint of Guinness please.

That law was going to be put in place because this teenager called Ellis Drummond, 18, was facing an anti-social behaviour order (Asbo) preventing him from "wearing trousers so low beneath the waistline that members of the public are able to see your underwear". The Asbo would have prohibited him from displaying his boxer shorts or briefs anywhere in public in Bedford Borough. It would also have banned him from wearing a hooded top with the hood up in any public place in the same area. Seemed a bit Hursh to me that!!

So no need to worry now boys, WE ARE SAFE!! Oh, thats it for today!! Byeeeee!

Thursday 6th May

Hello friends and welcome to the blog!! And before you say, YES WE ARE FRIENDS because you have descided to read my blog! Today is a special day because as your know it ELECTION DAY!! And everyone seems to be talking about it!! Just so you know, here you will read nothing about the election today because its BORING watching 3 men throw things out of their prams!

You might not have known this . . . I sure didn't . . . but today is the 2010 National Day of Prayer. So, if you get a chance, do your soul some good and say a prayer!! So go on...Bend down and say a prayer!! You never know, you might win the lottery on the weekend! In honor of the National Day of Prayer, a newspaper company ran a poll to make sure we are still as God fearin' as we're supposed to be! They found out 92% of Americans and ONLY 38% of Britons believe that there is a God! But . . . only 83% of Americans think he's actually LISTENING and answering our prayers. The other 9% think he's out there but not answering prayers right now. So there we go!! What do you believe??? I believe the weather is CRAP today!!

I have a lot of trouble believing this . . . but, even so, it's going to make me think long and hard before I stay up until 1:30 to see who's on the "Carson Daly" show again. According to researchers at the Leiden University Medical Center in the Netherlands, having even ONE bad night of sleep can increase your risk of developing type-2 diabetes.

They found that even one night of bad sleep can throw off your body's insulin use . . . and, if you don't eat that well and don't exercise much in general, that one bad night can push you right over the edge. The average person needs between seven and nine hours of sleep per night. So if you want to stay well and not get anything like this, just tell your partner to keep off you!

Thinking about getting some work done to your house soon??? Well my advice to you is make sure the workmen know where your house is because workmen in Australia reportedly fled a home after accidentally digging up the wrong front garden. HA!! Seriously, this is so true!! So make sure you tell the workmen who you live!! The two builders dug up top soil, ten palm trees and concrete garden edges at Peter Collard's Brisbane property before being interrupted by his real estate agent. Collard said "The first I heard of it was when my agent rang me and said, 'There's someone digging your yard up. You'd better rush home'. I rushed home to find this huge mess and about AU$20,000 (£12,000) worth of damage. These guys obviously knew there was something up and took off."

He added that the workmen were probably digging a swimming pool at the wrong address. Collard, who is selling the property, revealed that his insurance company claimed he is not covered for the damage. Now if those builders got confused with my garden and started digging a swimming pool, I would have let them finish it off!! I would so love to have a pool in my garden!!

Friday 7th May

So today has been all about the Elections...Getting rather bored of it now. Now all the voting is over, lets hope the news readers and papers will stop talking about it!! I think leaders should have done ROCK, PAPER, SCISSOR to see who should be the next Prime Minister! If they done that, there wouldn't be a hung Goverment!! God some people are dull! Anyway...ITS FRIDAY!! The weekend is now here is you have just finished!! And here is todays blog!!

Cleaners in Iceland are trying to clean up the ash from the Volanco but they are running out of space where to put the ash...So Entrepreneurs in Iceland are cashing in on crisis by selling jars of volcanic ash for £75 on the internet. Seriously, this is true!! The grey ash - from volcano Eyjafjallajokull - is being sold in 160 gramme portions in sealed glass containers as souvenirs of the disaster. Ahhhhh!! Who the hell would want to buy some stupid ash??? The ash cloud from the volcano caused havoc to the air industry, grounding flights across Europe, a fortnight ago. One seller, Sofus Gustavsson, says he is giving all his profits to help the clean-up campaign in Iceland which is trying to shift tonnes of volcanic ash.

If you've been watching the news all about the Election all day and you haven't been out in the real world all day, here is some news for you! Beavers in Canada have built the world's longest dam which can reportedly be seen from space. YEAH!! WOW!! So true!! The incredible construction is a staggering 2,790ft in length, more than half a mile long. It is twice the size of what was the world's largest man-made dam - the Hoover dam in the US, which spans 1,244ft. Beavers will soon be the makers of all dams in the world soon!!

Located on the southern edge of Wood Buffalo National Park in Northern Alberta, it was spotted by experts monitoring the size and spread of beaver dams in north America. Sharon Brown, a biologist from Beavers: Wetland and Wildlife, an educational organisation in north America, said: "Beavers build dams to create a good habitat". This time they wanted somewhere bigger to live in!! Mind you, you should see inside this dam, its like a 5 star hotel!

Anyway, that is the blog done for today!! The blog is now going for a rub down and a few pints of beer! It will return on Monday!! Have a nice weekend!

Monday 10th May

Hello there Monday People and welcome to the blog!! Before you start reading more, I would like to say sorry its late...NO I HAVEN'T GOT A HANGOVER! Monday's are just manic!! So don't worry, its here now! Ooooh, happy International Sunshine day...hmmmm...No, I haven't seen the sunshine either!! Who makes up these days!

Oh, Jesus was nearly KILLED AGAIN!! Police say a Massachesetts woman has been cited for running down a man named Lord Jesus Christ as he crossed a street in Northampton!! The 50 year old man is from Belchertown. Officers checked his ID and discovered that indeed, his legal name is Lord Jesus Christ. WOW!! I wonder what his school-life was like???! He was taken to the hospital for treatment of minor facial injuries. Police say 20-year-old Brittany Cantarella was cited for failing to yielt to a pedestrian!! Well at least the driver won't get sued! If anyon'es got to forgive her its a guy called Jesus Christ!!

If you love winning money, my advice to you is don't got to Casinos because your prize money could go up in smoke!! A man's lucky day at a New York state casino went up in smoke - along with his winnings. I bet you he was sad after! Kenneth Lamoree said he returned to his home after winning more than £2,000 at the Turning Stone casino in Verona, but a little more than an hour later, a fire broke out in the home he shares with his fiancee and their three children. The house suffered extensive damage and its contents - including Mr Lamoree's wallet with his casino winnings - were believed to have been destroyed. So maybe for the best you just go to your local corner shop and buy a few scatch cards!

If you're thinking about getting married, my advice to you is to enter a good competition because, a newly-married couple have won a six-month job-of-a-lifetime to visit some of the world's most romantic wedding and honeymoon destinations. Mark and Denise Duffield-Thomas, who live in London, clinched the Ultimate Job in Ireland competition after beating off a clutch of other lovebirds for the coveted role, which comes with a 20,000 euro (£17,362) salary. Organised by Runaway Bride and Groom, the Ultimate Job in Ireland received 30,000 applications from more than 90 countries since the competition launched in February. Well, its lucky for some hey!!

Tuesday 11th May

Right I have just entered the offices here at MTJR HQ and I thought I would make a cup of tea and then write this, get it done out of the way! So it is TUESDAY AFTERNOON ALL READY!! So welcome to the blog that is a MP FREE ZONE!! You will find NO news what so ever about those stupid men here!!

We spoke about this on the show last night but incase you missed it...Loads of people here in the UK are doing it rough in bed! Around a third of British adults have suffered an injury while having sex or afterwards, a new survey has revealed! YES, I really did talk this on air! So, are YOU someone who likes doing it rough??? According to a questionnaire, 18 million people have hurt themselves having sex, with four in ten also claiming to have broken a household item in the act. Sofas were deemed to be the most dangerous locations for sex, followed by stairs, cars, showers and the bedroom.

The top ten of risky sex sites was made up by chairs, kitchen tables, the garden, toilets and work cupboards. One in 50 people have even got an injury from doing in on a WASHING MACHINE!! WHAT??? How can you do it on there??? Washing machines aren't big enough!!
Most common injuries during sex were as follows:
1. Pulled muscle
2. Injured back
3. Carpet burns
4. Cricked neck
5. Bashing elbows / knees
I'm surpriced the Health and Safety people haven't stop us from doing it!!

Anyway, MOVING ON...Here is a nice little story for you to smile at this afternoon. A man has found his long-lost father after successfully searching for him on Facebook. AWWWWWW!! How nice!! Andy Spiers-Corbett, 39 had not seen his dad, Graham, 61, since he was 2 years old, and both men had failed in past attempts to find each other. What a nice way to end the day!

There is a really REALLY old donkey out there...Imagine a donkey with a walking stick...Actually don't do that because donkey's can't hold walking sticks!! The owner of a donkey that could be one of the oldest in the world has put her longevity down to a penchant for Guinness. Rosie gulps down two-thirds of a pint every day with her food to keep her healthy. Lesley Manger, who runs Kenstud Pony Rescue in Belper, Derbyshire, said Rosie is believed to be around 54 years old - but they cannot confirm her age. WOW!! I'm surprised the animals hasn't been asked to go into a nursing home!!

Thats it for today!! Back on air tonight from 7pm so make sure you listen!! http://www.mtjr.co.uk 7PM UK TIME!

Wednesday 12th May

Hello Wednesday readers!! Welcome to my blog!! Just before I start, I would like to say that today is RAJAR DAY!! If you don't know what that is, its when radio stations across the UK find out how many listeners they have and how long they are tuned in for!! So I would like to say THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO MY SHOWS and I hope you enjoy them!!

Anyway, onto the important blog thing now...

What do you think of that picture...Odd...Or don't you know what it is?! Well it is a RUDE Jelly Baby! A woman found a Masturbating Jelly Baby in a bag of sweets!! Seriously, this is true and the picture supports this!! I bet you're looking closer at that picture now!. The cultural artefact was discovered by Lyz Parker. She brought the little chap home from the Staine’s branch of Tesco’s in a bag of Candy King. She said:

“When I opened the bag I screamed so loudly the whole office came running over. I couldn’t believe my eyes.” Screamed? For joy? Finally a little bendy man of my very own?" So next time you buy a bag of Jelly Babies, look at them before you eat them...You never know, you might find an odd shaped one!

Do you remember that man off Britain's Got Talent who swallowed some coins and a pool ball and brought them back up??? Well A 3-year-old was taken to hospital last week after attempting to copy Britain's Got Talent act The Regurgitator!! And Britain's Got Talent did put a warning out before showing the act but clearly some people are deaf and pay no attention!! Abi Busby was rushed to Ulster Hospital on May 6 after swallowing a 2p coin on the way home from a family trip. "When I arrived home I immediately rang our out of hours GP to get his opinion as we were so worried. My partner also went online to see how dangerous this was," her father told the Belfast Telegraph.

"We were then advised to take her to accident and emergency at the Ulster Hospital immediately. As the doctor was checking Abi he asked her why she had swallowed the coin. She told him 'the magic man on TV with the yellow coat told me to do it'. I knew immediately she was talking about Stevie Starr as she loves to watch the show because of the dancing and all the other funny acts." Abi will return to hospital for another X-ray, but according to her dad, she is "okay" and "nature will take its course" with the coin. Just so you know, the girl is OK and the coin came out in her poo!! So next time you hear a message that says "DON'T DO THIS BECAUSE IT MAY CAUSE DEATH", don't do it!!

Thursday 13th May

Welcome to your Thursday blog readers!! If you missed THE BIG SHOW last night, you missed my BIG ANNOUNCEMENT...No, I ain't leaving!! The big announcement was that on Monday's show from 7pm, I will be trying to break a WORLD RECORD!! I am going to see how many After 8 mints I can eat in 1 minute without using my hands!! The current record holder comes from America and he did 8 in one minute! So I am going to try and beat that!! Make sure you are listening!! You won't want to miss it!!

According to a new survey, ONE in FIVE parents regret the name they gave their kid. Hmmmmm!! I wonder if my parents wish they never called me CASEY???? 19% say they gave their kid a "family name," just so relatives wouldn't get upset. 13% purposely went with a name that seemed quirky or unusual at the time, while 10% named their kid after their favorite celebrity. 15% of parents say their friends and family members make fun of the name they gave their kid. And ONE in TEN say they chose a name they thought was cool and clever at the time, but now the novelty has worn off and they hate it.

3D films are HUGE in the cinemas at the moment! The problem with 3D films is that you have to wear those horrible glasses and they make you look like a right weirdo! To solve this problem and to make us stop looking like weirdo's, an Australian Company have created a range of designer-style 3D glasses. WOOHOO!! The glasses are on sale in a range of colours and styles and they also offer prescription lenses. The aim is to limit looking like a dweeb in the unflattering 3D glasses currently on offer. Now these will make me go and watch a 3D film!!

Crocked football star David Beckham is to be honoured during the World Cup finals - with a new Pot Noodle flavour. I think I should release my own range of food as I am on the radio...What do you think?? Why should footballers get more fame!? Snack bosses claim he is a fan of the food and have created the Golden (Meat)Balls variety to lift his spirits after he missed out on the tournament with an injury. Last year the firm devoted a new flavour to another noodle fan, Hollywood actress Kate Beckinsale, when they created their Steak and BeckinsALE range.

Readers of PLAYBOY, are going to get a good eye full soon...There are plans for the magazine to be published in 3D for a one off!