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Tuesday 29th June

Howdy partner!! Welcome to another sweaty, boiling daily blog! Wow this weather is amazing! I have been wearing shorts and flip flops for nearly a week now...Oh, just so you know, I do take them off to have a shower and to go to sleep and YES, I do have more than one pair of shorts!

If you love dating websites, my advise to you, is don't move to China and become a soldier! China's People's Liberation Army has promised to help its soldiers find love after a new rule banned troops from internet dating. So in other words, if these people want love, they need to find it for yourself!! Members of the 2.3 million-strong Chinese army stationed in remote posts have relied on the internet for romance in recent years. But the PLA is worried that lonely hearts might let sensitive information slip, and has now banned online dating. So there we go, don't become a Chinese Soldier.

Something for the men now who can't keep it away or down and don't want to have a baby...Introducing the new pill! Scientisit have developed the male alternative to the female contraceptive pill. The formula removes vital protein in sperm required for a woman to conceive. Israeli scientists behind the breakthrough say it only needs to be taken once every three months. Until now attempts at a “male pill” have failed and scientists have been working on a contraceptive hormone jab for men given by doctors. However recipients in trials have complained of side effects including depression, moodiness and loss of libido.

Researchers say the pill – 100 per cent effective at stopping pregnancy – has no side effects. WOOHOO! So they won't give me wind! Thats good! Every pill I take gives me wind for some reason.

Now there are a lot people in this world who just aren't all there...An Australian man has bred and trained his mice to surf the waves at the beach. I know! How weird and SAD! But cute in away! Boat builder Shane Wilmott, 39, told papers that his pets Peanut, Skidmark, Rocket and Banzai enjoyed the experience on the water. Wilmott said: "It's a really stimulating way for them to live. Much more than just being stuck in a cage all their lives. I teach them how to do it in the bath at first, so they can get used to their custom-made boards. Once they've got some confidence we move out to my pool and tow them around with a remote controlled boat." Christ some people have got a lot of time on their hands!

He added: "I only do it because I feel they are safe. Gulls are a realistic threat so I have to stay close by to make sure my guys are safe. These guys aren't just my pets, they’re my mates too - I care about them a lot. If they come off, they are fine and just paddle around until I collect them. Me and a few mates were hanging out at the beach years ago, watching these perfect little waves form really close to the shore. I remember wishing I was tiny so that I could have a go on these perfect specimens...Then it hit me that a mouse on a tiny board could do it." What a weirdo!! And I thought I was weird...

Wednesday 30th June

Good Afternoon reader, and welcome to the last afternoon in June! Believe it or not, tomorrow is July...Ooooh we are getting closer to Christmas everyday!! So its been another hot, sweaty day here in the UK and apparently this heat is set to continue, however, some places will see some rain...WOW! I should have become a weatherman!

Last night on the show, I told you that Titanic 2 is meant to be coming out on DVD on the 24th August...Basically what happens, a cruise ship is taking people out to the stop where Titanic sank and guess what happens...Yes, a iceburg comes along and down goes that boat...Odd I know, but here is something else...A bouncy castle version of the Titanic - complete with inflatable icebergs - has been branded "sick" by critics at a toy trade fair. What is it with people this?! It all seems to be about that boat! The 40ft high slide is a replica of the ill-fated luxury liner which sank on its maiden voyage to New York in 1912 drowning 1,517 passengers and crew.
It shows the crippled liner sinking with its keel raised high in the air as if it is just about to disappear under the waves forever. Organisers of the bouncy castle fair in Ibach, Switzerland, say the exhibit has gone down well with visitors...Gone down well...Ha! Was that meant to be a joke?!

...After reading this, I bet you went to Russia for a holiday this week...A Russian official suspected of accepting bribes threw more than £200,000 out of his car window during a police chase in Moscow. Fisheries Agency official Boris Simonov frantically flung 10 million roubles (£212,000) into the wind after he crashed his Cadillac. So there we go...One lucky bugger could have seen that money, picked it up and stuck it in their pig bank, because when these people throw the money out the window, the police didn't pick it up, they just left it there and carried on chasing the robbers!

...And they said it would never happen in our lifetime! A real flying car is about to go into commercial production after manufacturers were given a special exemption by US aviation officials to proceed….

The “Terrafugia Transition” is designed as a light sport aircraft, the smallest kind of private airplane under FAA classification, however, manufacturers found it impossible to keep the vehicle under the 1,320lb weight limit, once they added safety features such as airbags, crumple zones and roll cage as required for road vehicles. Light sport aircraft licenses require just 20 hours’ flying time, making them much easier to obtain than full private licenses. The Transition can carry two people on the road, and with wings folded, gets 30mpg on the highway. Its cruising speed in the air is 115mph, it has a range of 460 miles, and it can carry 450lbs. It requires a 1,700-foot runway to take off and can fit in a standard garage. The car is expected to retail at about $250,000. The company says that 70 people have already ordered the car. Sounds amazing...I think I need to pop to my bank...

Thursday 1st July

Greetings you and welcome to the 1st July! Yep, we are great oh so closer to Christmas! Have you started any of your Christmas shopping yet?? No, same here!! A bit too early to start!! Might start in November! Anyway, welcome to the blog!!

I need to take my two kittens to the vets tonight for their jabs, so they don't catch anything BAD! This time last week, I took just the one kitten to the vets because she had a cut on her head from play fighting with her sister...Anyway, took her to the vet and she stuck her finger up the kittens' bum to make it wee...I never never want to become a vet!! Sorry, but they just not right!! Lets hope she doesn't do that to the other one night...Because she has got really bad wind today!

Right, say hello to Charlie Cavey...He is 31 years-old...He is a bit odd, because he sings and plays guitar whilst squeezed inside a tiny metal bin in Cambridge!! See, I told you he's a bit odd! BUT this man can't keep an eye on his money from inside the bin so he employed eight-year-old Obi the Jack Russell to stand guard! Lets just hope no-one nicks the dog! But WHY THE HELL, would anyone want to entertain people from a bin?! This man said;"I have had problems with people taking money as they don't always realise I am in the bin and it looks like free cash. It's quite a struggle to keep getting in and out of the bin so now I bring Obi with me. He is really good and just stands on top of the bin and watches people going by." Mr Cavey, from Newmarket, first started performing in a bin as a joke. HA HA HA HA!! Greatttt Joke! NOT!

If your plane was delayed from taking off this morning, this is WHY!! Open your eyes wider and get this: A plane was stopped from taking off in the US when maggots began falling from an overhead luggage locker. EWWW!! Horrified passengers raised the alarm as the maggots began falling on an unsuspecting passenger. The US Airways flight, bound for Charlotte from Atlanta, was preparing for takeoff at the time. "It was like out of a creepy movie," passenger Donna Adamo told NewsChannel 36. "It was disturbing." Another passenger, Desiree Harnell, is demanding a refund from the airline after the incident. "There's tonnes of them, and they never stop growing and rolling around. I just couldn't wait to get off the flight," she said.

A US Airways spokesperson said the problem was traced to spoiled meat in a carry-on bag. The plane returned to the gate and a cleaning crew was brought in while passengers waited in the terminal for more than an hour. I've heard of Snake on the Plane, but not Maggots on the plane!!

Friday 2nd July

Oh hello weekend and hello readers!! Welcome to another blog and it is the last one of the week!! If you're still at work and you can't wait to get off and start your weekend, well I hope by you reading this blog, the time will go faster! For the people who are interested, I took my kittens to the Vets yesterday for their jabs and good news, the vet person never stuck their finger up the kittens backside this time...He just looked at it!! What a job, looking at animals backsides...Anyway, it went well, so all is good!

People have some strange diets, but how about this for strange...A woman from Essex has eaten nothing but crisps for the last 10 years. Seriously, this is true! Hotel chambermaid Debbie Taylor has only eaten beef-flavoured Monster Munch for the past two years, and only ate Walkers crisps for the eight years before that. I bet she had smelly breath...Because Monster Munches are known for giving you bad breath! This women said to the papers: I know it must seem strange but it works for me. When I have tried to eat something else my body isn’t used to it and I simply can’t eat or, if I do, it makes me sick." I think she should go and see a doctor...Because just ain't right...I wonder how big she is...“It’s not hurting anyone else and my heart hasn’t stopped yet, so until it causes me serious problems I’ll happily go on eating my favourite crisps.” Yes, the 30-year-old, who has a boyfriend named Gerald and a son called Luke, said that she brings bags of crisps to restaurants and on holiday!

Meet out stupid man of the day...A Russian businessman has paid almost £20,000 to have a £2 plastic Vuvuzela covered in expensive white gold and encrusted with precious stones. HAHA! What an idoit! But I bet it will be worth a lot of money in years to come...Lets hope it is real gold...Linz-based jeweller Klemens Pointner who specialises in providing tailor-made items for Russian clients said he met the businessmen at a trade fair in Moscow. I think this man had more money than sense...

Now, don't you just love happy endings...A dog had adopted a kitten and is nursing it along with its puppies in China. Li Dajie bought the newborn kitten when her pet dog was about to give birth. Li, of Mapu village, Guangxi province, said: "One needed a mother's love, while the other was about to be a mother. The kitten and the dog got along very well from the very start, and quickly became inseparable." When the dog had a litter of four puppies, the kitten started to suckle its adopted mother's milk alongside its canine brothers and sisters. Li said the kitten had grown very fast since starting to drink dog milk, quadrupling in size within a month. Awwwwwwwww! What a lovely way to end the week and blog!

Monday 5th July

Hello Monday people!! Welcome back to another week!! Hey, only around 2 week until the kids break up from School for their Summer Holidays! Wow this year is going fast...Did you know on Friday, we was half way through the year!? Yeah, its true! Anyway, its another warm, sunny day where I am today...I hope it is the same where you are!

BIG NEWS to start today's blog...If you're a 13-year-old girl, some potentially devastating news hit the Internet yesterday . . . and it involves JUSTIN BIEBER. Here it is: Justin may NOT be single. Now don't cry! "Life & Style" magazine says that Justin is back with his ex-girlfriend Caitlin Beadles . . . who allegedly dated Justin BEFORE he became the second coming of Christ. Caitlin recently went to the Bahamas with Justin . . . and when she got back, she Tweeted: Quote, "What happens in the Bahamas stays in the Bahamas!" And "I hate when you have to leave. It's like half of me is gone. I miss you already!" This trip happened early last month. So basically, "Life & Style" . . . which is apparently at the forefront of this breaking story . . . believes that Justin is in a SECRET relationship with Caitlin. BUT Justin has not commented on this...Because he doesn't want to upset his fans!!

Did you know that The World Cup is still going on?? Well it is believe it or not...It will be all over soon! Anyway, Police in Colombia have reportedly seized a replica of the World Cup made from 11kg of pure cocaine...That is a lot of the stuff little kids if you didn't know! Officers found the gold-painted item during a routine check of a mail warehouse on Friday at Bogota airport. The airport's anti-drug chief Colonel José Piedrahita said that the 36cm high replica trophy had a street value of up to £1 million. The trophy was packed with shirts of teams in the World Cup and its planned final destination was said to be Madrid, Spain. Don't do drugs little kids! It is VERY bad for you!

Always remember this people...Whatever your age, you can do anything if you set your mind to it! I say that because there is this Norfolk grandmother and lollipop lady has become the first woman to get a 7th dan black belt in Spirit Combat International ju-jitsu. WOW! I would want to meet her down a dark lane! Ena Mallett, 77, is only 5ft 4ins tall but that doesn't stop her from throwing around much larger opponents. I wonder what she'll do if a car never stops for her...hmmmm...Anyway, she first started learning karate in 1979 as a way to keep fit - becoming a Spirit Combat International instructor in 1987. Mrs Mallett holds weekly classes for children and adults at the village hall near her home in South Walsham. So, if you want to learn to be a black belt, head to South Walsham and meet this lady...She can usually be found in the middle of the road, holding a yellow and black pole! Steady now men!

Tuesday 6th July

Helloooo Tuesday readers!! Welcome back to the daily blog!! So its been another windy day where I have been...I think someone has got bad wind again today and they could do with some of those Andrew salts! They never work on me for some reason...They are as much use as my wee!

Big showbiz news out today...I must tell you this, incase you haven't heard today...Cheryl Cole has reportedly been diagnosed with malaria. Yeah I know! I was shocked to hear that news this morning...I mean, what a thing to wake up too!! The 27-year-old recently announced that she would take a one-week break due to exhaustion after collapsing during a photoshoot with what was thought to be gastroenteritis. According to reports, she caught the disease during a trip to Africa three weeks ago that she took with Derek Hough but was not diagnosed until late Sunday after drifting in and out of consciousness. So my advice to you is, don't go to Africa for your summer holidays this year! But lets all hope Cheryl gets well soon!!

People would do anything to get into the papers...There is this Russian man who made headlines - by teaching his dog to scuba dive in a specially built wetsuit.Yeah, seriously!! This is so true!! Why would anyone want to teach their dog that, I don't know! Sergei Gorbunov, a professional diver in Vladivostok, had a diving suit complete with helmet made for his pet dachshund Boniface. Surely that is going too over the top...

In a recent demonstration, Boniface barked eagerly as Mr Gorbunov readied the equipment and fitted the suit on him. Once underwater, he seemed to have a different outlook, emitting some high-pitched whines. But Mr Gobunov insisted: "Underwater, I don't think he experiences any stress." Oh thats ok then! But how can you tell if a dog is stressed or not...??? I mean, dogs can't really light up a fag can they! So that is the *NEW* thing, a Scuba diving dog...Whatever next!

When I was on the motorway last, I saw one lorry driver having a shave and another eating his breakfast - while on the move!! Have ever seen a lorry driver doing some odd on the move??? Well a trucker in Kitchener, Ontario, is facing a charge of careless driving -- but at least his tooth doesn't hurt anymore...Officer John Reurink stopped a tractor trailer wandering "all over the road" and discovered the driver was trying to perform dental surgery. Yeah, this is true!!

He explained that his tooth hurt, so he had tied a string around it and attached the other end to the roof of his cab. "One good bump and the tooth should come out," he said. Well Well Well!! These lorry drivers think they can get away with everything!