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Friday 19th February

Hello my friends! I am pleased to say that it is Friday!! The weekend is here and its been another fast week...Anyway, welcome to Friday...Today is a special day because its NATIONAL CHOCOLATE MINT DAY!! I bet you didn't know that! See, you can learn a lot from this blog...Sometimes!

Now, anyone, any age can start a fight on someone... Some CCTV pictures show the unnamed 75-year-old picking up a price scanner and fighting off a thief twice her size as he attempts to steal cash from the 7-11 store in Boston. She, old-er women are strong and fit (not in a sexy way though sorry) but they could make good door people in night clubs! The pensioner takes matters into her own hands after the baseball cap-wearing thug walks behind the counter at the store and begins wrestling with the manager.

The shocked grandmother, who had been talking to the manager, immediately picks up the price scanner on the counter and begins hitting the thief. Woohoo! God Gran!! Some good news for you, this story is true and the thief never got anyway! So little kids, next time you go and see your Gran, look at her, and just think if she could pick a fight with someone...

THIS IS MAD! ODD! But TRUE! It took five long months for a Czech woman to discover the reason for her pain: Doctors had left a foot-long medical tool inside her abdomen...Yes this is true! I would have thought that over a couple of months, the tool would have came out i her poo... This month, doctors at a clinic in the southeastern town of Ivancice discovered their colleagues had forgotten to remove a spatula-like surgical instrument from the woman following gynecological surgery in September.

Top regional official Michal Hasek apologized to 66-year-old Zdenka Kopeckova and said Monday that the region, which is in charge of the clinic, plans to compensate her. So next time you need to go under the knife for whatever reason, make sure the doctors don't leave anything in your body!!

Monday 22nd February

Howdy! Welcome back to the daily blog! Just another week and then we will be into March! Woohoo and then it should get warmer...I am getting feed up of this snow and cold now...Are you? Yeah - of course you are! Oh, today is not just any Monday, today is "Thinking Day" - I have been learnt not to do that too much and its "Humble Day" so I hope you are having a nice day!

Friday was BIG! Because of the LIVE EASTENDERS! I thought I just needed to talk about this today because nearly 17 million of you watched it! That is a lot of people you know! If you was watching it, you might have thought it was good for the first live one BUT loads of the stars made loads of cock-ups. Did you see Bradley Brannings move his hand after he was meant to be dead? ... It just proves he didn't fall of the building hard enough...And also Stacey shouted "CHARLIE" instead of Bradley when he fell...Did you hear that? Ah you see another cock-up! I must admit, I didn't hear it when I was watching!

At the start of the program, did you hear Jack Branning Stumble over his lines and Peggy called Janine Butcher "June" by mistake! Also did you see Ronnie Mitchell walk out of the Mini Mart without paying for something?!

So there we go, there was a few cock-ups but apparently, Coronation Street is meant to be doing one of their shows live for their 50th anniversary!! COPY CATS! Lets hope they make mistakes! I must say EastEnders was very good! I bet you are now going to head over to YouTube and see if you can find the mistakes in the live show!

WELL DONE EASTENDERS ON FRIDAY!

Tuesday 23rd February

BIG NEWS! I'm NOT on air tonight because I have to go and see the man who sticks his fingers in your mouth! Yeah, I am going to the blooming dentist and that means I have to miss the show! I'm SORRY for that but MR JB will be in the chair for me tonight from 7pm!

We have always thought the older we get, the more grumpier we get. But according to new research Seventy-four year-olds are the most contented people in the population! Fewer responsibilities, financial worries and more time to yourself leads to contentment previously unknown in earlier life. According to the report from the teenage years until 40 happiness declines. It levels off until 46 and then starts to increase until peaking at 74. So just remember, when you get 74, you should be happy! If you're not, something has gone wrong somewhere!

Do you remember those old boring history videos in school? Did you ever wish something exciting would happen during them? Well Cliff High School students studying World War I history saw a few seconds of pornography during viewing of a video about the 1919 Treaty of Versailles. A History Channel program apparently had been recorded over a porn tape. Tut tut! I bet the teacher was left red faced! A substitute teacher who was overseeing the class told school officials he was shocked by the porn and that he had received the tape from a friend. The videotape apparently was shown at least twice in the classroom without incident.

Superintendent Dick Pool won't disclose if any action was taken against the teacher. So if you are a teacher and you need to record something, make sure you don't do it over a video which you used for something RUDE!

...And for the people who like getting all hot and sweaty under the covers late at night, this is for you! Lady Gaga urges fans to 'wrap it up' in her own line of condoms with designer Jeremy Scott. Who know's what they are going to look like!? You know Lady Gaga, they could look like anything...Maybe a condom that looks like a cone...Seriously, Gaga is bring out her own Condom range!

Thats it for today! Remember I'm not on air tonight but JB will be on looking after things for me so tune in! I'll be back on Wednesday from 7pm!

Wednesday 24th February

Hello my wonderful Wednesday Readers! Welcome to this thing what I like to call The Daily Blog! First of all, I would like to say thank you to JB for covering for me last night because I was at the dentist! Nearly had a car crash too!! Don't worry, all will be releaved on the show after 7pm tonight!

Now, do you like BIG things...? DON'T BE RUDE!!! Do you like BIG DOGS? Well would you like to have this dog as a pet? Guinness World Records says a Great Dane in the US tallest dog, Standing 3 feet, 7 inches (1.09 meters) tall from paw to shoulder is the tallest dog ever on record. Would you like to take him for a walk in the early hours of the morning?! Giant George, who lives in Tuscon, is three-quarters of an inch (2 centimetres) taller than his closest rival - Titan, a white Great Dane from San Diego. Ok, I'm not that tall, so I don't think this dog will be the dog for me...

BREAKING NEWS!!
A Dutch woman has reportedly escaped from a prison after tunnelling out of the institution with a spoon. The woman, who still has 22 months of her sentence remaining for an unspecified "violent crime", is now on the run from the Breda jail! Wow! I bet it took a while to do...This story reminds me of Chicken Run when the chickens are trying to dig their way out of their pen...hmmmm! I think I'll have to sit down and watch that film sometime!

Thursday 25th February

Well Hello! Welcome to Thursday update! I can't believe it is Thursday already - Tomorrow is FRIDAY! Woohoo! Oh before I get onto the main blog I want to say "Thank you" to the person who has given me a cold!! A week ago I had one which I got rid of and now I have another one!! So thank you to that person who gave it me back!

Did you have a boiled egg for breakfast? How big was the egg? ...Because a Suffolk man says one of his hens has laid an egg four times the size of a normal chicken egg!! Wow! That is one big dipping egg! At least you wouldn't need any lunch! Matilda's owner, Mark Cornish, said the egg is about 9cm (3.5in) high and has a circumference of 21cm (8.3in)! Mr Cornish, 36, of Ipswich, said he was extremely shocked when he pulled the enormous egg out of the hutch at the bottom of his garden. So their are hens out there that drop BIG eggs!! Look, I'm not making this up!

HOT DOGS ARE DANGEROUS!! A man gets $25,000 because of an Injury caused by a hot dog! THIS IS TRUE! A baseball fan was sit six rows behind the third one when a hot dog came from no-where and nearly took his eye out last year! Yes I know it this is old news but he has just been awarded $25,000 for his injury caused by the food.

Dressing up as a clown can get you into trouble because a Tampa man faces charges after a deputy spotted him walking in a clown mask. Some people are scared of clowns you see... According to jail records, the man was arrested Tuesday and charged with wearing a mask or hood on a public road over the age of 16 and resisting arrest without violence. The man, who turned 19 on Wednesday, has been released from Hillsborough County Jail on $750 bond.

My advice to you is not to wear any clown clothes around your town!

Saturday 27th February

Sorry, I don't usually blog on the weekends but I feel I have let you down because I didn't blog yesterday! I am sorry about that! Friday was a busy, non-stop day! Anyway, here is Friday's blog but on a Saturday if you get what I mean. Ooooh according to the weather people, there is a small storm coming bring heavy rain, some snow and some strong winds this weekend. So this weekend stay in and keep dry!

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SOMEONE DOING SOMETHING ODD WHILE DRIVING? No...You sure!! Anyway, a woman was caught flossing her teeth as she drove at 70mph on a motorway. If you have been on a motorway, I bet you have seen a lorry driver having a shave on the go...I see one doing that every week! Apparenly, this is meant to be against the law. Anyway, this 36-year-old was spotted by traffic cops using the dental floss while looking in her rear view mirror.


The unnamed woman was fined £60 and lectured about careless driving after she was nabbed on the M4 near Newport, South Wales. Flossing your teeth while driving is the same as using a phone, so don't do it! Your hands should be on the wheel and your brain and eyes should be on the roads! Not on your teeth or on anything else!

Don't laugh at this. It is true! ...Well laugh if you want! ...DAD Kevin Geraghty-Shewan was stopped after he took this photo of son Ben on a shopping centre train ride - and told he could be a PAEDOPHILE!! WHAT?! Remember, this is true!! Kevin was approached by a security guard after snapping his four-year-old on the toy engine outside a store.

The 48-year-old dad was then threatened with ARREST after a row with a policeman. I am sorry to say but this is what this country is coming too!

Thats it for today! That was Friday's blog but on a Saturday... Anyway, the blog will return on Monday! Have a nice weekend!

Monday 1st March

PINCH, PUNCH, First of the Month!! ...And Yes I do know that it has gone mid-day!! Anyway, HELLOOOOOO! This is my blog and today it comes with a sense of Spring! Yes, its a new week, new month and new season! This is the month which is a pain for people like me because you start suffering from Hayfever! Grrrr!

Anyway, you know when the weather starts getting hotter when people starts taking their clothes off in the middle of the day...About 5 200 naked people embraced each other on the steps of Sydney's iconic Opera House on Monday for a photo shoot by Spencer Tunick...This is true! The weather must be a bit hotter than here in the UK over there because you wouldn't do that in the winter because things would get smaller...Yes, you know what I am talking about here! Tunick, who is known for his nude group photos in public spaces, posed participants for more than an hour in a variety of positions.

...This is getting a bit rude, so here is a video of this thing...PARENTS, THIS VIDEO CONTAIN NAKED BODIES, like the ones off the XXX channels! Just thought I would let you know! CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW TO SEE THE VIDEO!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnD3Pij8Y...r_embedded

...Well...Would you have liked to do something like that?! Let it all hang out in the middle of somewhere, in the middle of the day!?

Tuesday 2nd March

Helloooooo! I feel like I am in another country at the moment because the weather has improved a lot! These day few days, the sun has been out and its been warm-ish! I am so looking forward to the Summer now! This is pure Beer Garden weather! I feel like going to one for a drink before tonights show, have a drink and just sit and enjoy the evening sun...Hmmmmm!

There is a lot of people out there that hate veg...Mainly because of their colour and smell but would you eat grass? No? Well a mad Chinese man claims to have survived for two years eating nothing but leaves and grass...Hmmmm wonder if these can be classed as the all important 5 a day...?! God I would have been sick if I ate that! Li Sanju, 50, of Niuwei village, Guangdong province, says he is perfectly happy with his unusual diet. WHAT?! That is a strange diet...Do you fancy doing the same? Nah, I thought not!

He says he looks no different to other people in his village - but admits he does smell strongly of grass. Well some women do get turned on by the smell of cut grass so you never know, they might like you, so don't worry! Apparently this man was known as "the sick man" in his village because he was always in hospital but now he is on this NEW diet, he hasn't been to see a doctor in ages...I think this man is a cow instead of a human now...

BAFTA-nominated Coronation Street writer Daran Little has defected to rival soap EastEnders. Is this good or bad?! Lets just hope he doesn't make EastEnders full of pants and underwear factories. Typing on his Twitter account yesterday evening, Little wrote: "Ta ra Weatherfield... 'ello Walford... happy to say I'm now writing for EastEnders." - So I guess we'll all have to keep watching EastEnders and look out for changes in storylines...Here's on for you: Make a series where there is no SHOUTING and everyone is happy!

Wednesday 3rd March

Hello my mid-week readers! Welcome to the blog! I think I can now say that the countdown to the weekend can start now!

Now, if you are going to do something bad, make sure you cover up your tracks! Because a US man who claimed his car had been stolen after he crashed it into a snow drift was arrested after police followed his footsteps back to the bar where he'd been drinking. This story is true by the way! The 42-year-old, of Sheboygan Falls, Wisconsin, now faces up to three years in jail and a $10,000 fine is he is convicted with that police said was his fifth drink driving charge. Now you see, if he covered up his tracks, this mightn't of happened!! You see, I do come out with some helpful stuff sometimes!

Do you feel lonely in your house sometimes? Well a ghost is for sale! I'm not lying! Two vials said to contain the spirits of ghosts exorcised from a house in New Zealand have been put up for sale on an online auction site. Oooooooooo SPOOOOKY!! Boo!! Entitled 'Two Captured Ghosts', the lot had reached a top price of nearly £200 on TradeMe, New Zealand's equivalent of eBay.

The seller claims the spirits were captured by an exorcist from a spiritual church at a property in Christchurch, reports News.com.au. So there we go! You can now buy a ghost online! What will be next?!

Thursday 4th March

Hello my Thursday reader! Welcome to this thing what we call the daily blog...This is like a daily extra to my evening shows! Basically, you get a piece of me everyday...How lucky are you?! So we are in day 4 of Spring and here in the middle of the UK, the sun is beaming down! It is lovely! I wish it can be like this until winter!!

Someone or something had it in for Alan Titchmarsh believe it or not! A chicken pooed on Alan Titchmarsh during filming on his live ITV1 chatshow yesterday. Did you see it? Did you laugh?! Well it looks like the chicken wasn't that keen on the show! The Popstar To Operastar host and TV gardener was introducing the chickens to the audience when one defecated down his jacket. I wonder what he said under is breath when it happened...hmmmmm!

"Welcome to the joys of live TV," laughed the 60-year-old presenter afterwards. Alan Titchmarsh had the chickens on his show to talk about how they had grouped together with a cockerel and killed a fox in Basildon, Essex. I bet you, he won't have that same one of the show again...Maybe the chicken got excited when Alan mentioned the word "cockerel"...

COMDOMS! They are interesting things aren't they but a new size is soon to hit shops! These new comdoms will only be used by 12 year-olds! I am not lieing, this is very true! They have been produced after research by the Swiss Government revealed that an increasing number of twelve to 14-year-olds are having sex. I suppose this is good in a way because 12-year-olds won't be the only ones who can wear them, but men who have a small one will be able to wear these...Just saying!!

SMOKING AND DRINKING CAN MAKE YOU LIVE LONGER...Because a 100-year-old Gloucestershire woman believes her longevity may be down to cigarettes and alcohol. So maybe if you want to live to an old age, maybe you should drink and smoke but not too much because they are bad for your health! Lorna Gobey, of Cheltenham, smokes 20 cigarettes a day and regularly enjoys a glass of Guinness with a whisky chaser.

She smoked her first cigarette in 1940 - and reckons she's gone through over half-a-million since then. So there we go!

...This is for all the smokers out there!! CLICK ON THIS LINK! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wX7X3skIVTM Non smokers can have a look too, you might laugh!