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Friday 5th March

Helloooooo! The weekend is here at last! If you are still at work, don't worry, you'll be able to go home soon, just keep looking out of the office window and look at the sun!! Today has been another nice day weatherwise! The weather people said the sunny weather would have gone by mid-day but the sun is still shining and its lovely! I feel like going to get a bag of fish and chips and eat them by the canel!!

Now, we all know that the UK is known for its REALLY bad weather don't we....?!? Well a West Midlands council is advising families to buy a "hurricane" survival kit usually needed only in disaster-prone foreign countries...Yeah but not everyone of us in the Midlands go to countries that have really bad weather for a holiday...Usually we go somewhere Sunny like...The coasts of WALES!! By the way, I am talking about the Wales here in the UK!! The £100 kits have to be bought by residents themselves and are being recommended in case of hurricanes or floods. Do you get hurricanes in Wales?! Well I have seen a small Twister in Borth (West Coast of Wales).

Items on the survival list suggested by Birmingham City Council include a sleeping bag, camping stove, first aid box and wellington boots. Spare batteries, candles, a battery-powered radio, rubber gloves, waterproof clothing, long-life food and bottled water are all listed as other "essential" items. Well I suppose somethings in the box will come in useful if there is a powercut...

The snow is cold stuff but it can be fun! ...Because a New Jersey family famous for its wintertime snow-sculptures pushed the envelope a bit too far this time. The family made a sturdy snow sculpture with supple breasts and a rounded bottom. Although it entertained most of the neighbors, the sculpture upset one anonymous person who complained of a "naked snow woman."
Police responded to some complaints and they asked the family to cover up the sculpture. So they did, with a sporty green bikini and a blue sarong that covered the sculpture's hips. Well at least you're still able to make out some features...I bet you'll make a naked snow lady next time we have snow!

That's it for this week! I am now going to leave you with the weekend to enjoy...Here it is! ... Becareful because it is heavy!!

Monday 8th March

Howdy!! Here we go again...Its Monday! And today is International women's day and its National no Smoking day...Well done if you have given up today!! March seems to be going fast and at the end of this month, we have to put the clocks foward and British Summertime begins!! Thank GOD I say! Christ this winter has dragged on!!

SERIOUS-ish question now! Do you have some underwear in your draws that make you ichy in that area sometimes? YES?! Well maybe these new paints are for you!! Australian underwear company "AussieBum" has been monkeying around and the results is a range of men's underwear made with bananas! THIS IS REAL! The new eco-friendly banana range of undies incorporates 27% banana fiber, 64% cotton and 9% lycra!

The undies are lightweight and they absorb anything that's been split on them! Oh and good news, they don't smell of banana's! Well...What do you reckon?! Do you fancy a pair!?

Did you go out on the weekend? YES? Did you have a hangover on Sunday?! Yes! I bet it was bad...Well that mightn't be as bad for much longer... Because Scientists have discovered a way to make alcohol which causes less severe hangovers and allows drinkers to sober up more quickly! Does that sound good?! Apparently a study found that increasing the oxygen content in alcohol enabled people to progres alcohol more rapidly and therefore avoid some of its negative effects! So soon you'll be able to drink more and the hangover the next day won't be as bad!

Tuesday 9th March

Well Hello you!! Welcome back to the daily blog full of random things!! Its Tuesday already! Wow this week is going fast!! Oh, today is Panic Day in America...So if you are currently in America reading this, I hope you are panicing a lot!! I don't really know what you are meant to do on panic day...Do you?

...If you are feed up of your marriage, I've got something you will love! The Japanese aren't exactly the most confrontational people in the world, so leave it to them to come up with something like this . . .There's a service in Japan called 'Wack-Array-Sass-Sayer' . It means "breaker-upper." Here's how it works: You're in a lousy relationship and you want it to end, you then hire the services of the "breaker-upper", they follow your husband or wife around for a while and then either SEDUCE them, or produce some other kind of incriminating evidence. That way, you have a foolproof excuse to get divorced.

In other words, the 'wack-array-sass-sayer' provides a relatively conflict-free way to end your miserable marriage! Are you interested in getting these people in now?!

...Once your marriage is over and you feel like getting married again, get married to an object!!... This is what one man did is Japan! This Japanese man showed he was one big softy when he married the love of his life - a giant cushion!! WHAT A WEIRDO! On their wedding day, the pillow was even filled with a wedding dress...Lets just hope the pillow was a female...Surely pillows have a sex...If cars do, surely pillows do too! Apparently, this man is completely addicted to this pillow and he takes it everywhere with him!! I think this man needs to go and see a doctor!!

When driving a car, you shouldn't do anything expect keeping your eyes on the road and steering the car, but a car crash in Florida is being blamed on the fact that the driver was attempting to shave her bikini line at the wheel...Oh dear...I know some people use their phones at the wheel and some lorry drivers shave their faces on the move but THIS is going too far! Trooper Gary Dunick says the 37-year-old woman was attempting to shave her pubic hair, while her ex-husband held the wheel.

Her car then crashed into the back of a pickup truck, injuring two women, reports the Key West Citizen. Why didn't her ex just swap seats with her?! And why the hell would you want to shave your bikini line?! Mind you, some men do prefer them bush free and then when it gets hot, she won't get a bush fire under way!

Wednesday 10th March

HELLOOOOO!! Important news for people living in Northampton!! IMPORTANT NEWS!! There is a giant Burmese python on the loose!! I'm not joking! Police have issued a warning about an escaped giant Burmese python which is loose on a housing estate in Northampton. If I was living there and once the police told me about this, I would have packed and left the town because I'm guessing those snakes can do some damage! The green snake, believed to be "several feet long", was seen by a passer-by in the undergrowth in Lingswood - Northamptonshire!

Police have advised that while it is not known to be a dangerous species, the beast should not be approached and witnesses should call 999 or the RSPCA. It was last seen in a wooded area next to a large housing estate and has so far evaded capture. So if you live near Lingswood and near some wooded areas, becareful! You never know who you might be sharing your bed with!!

When you get old, you come a Pensioner and if you get bad legs, you are usually given walking sticks, well these could save your life...Walking sticks are good weapons for the olderly to defend themselves and a Norfolk grandfather is giving pensioners lessons in self defence using a special weapon - the NHS walking stick...

Kevin Garwood, 61, a triple black belt holder, has developed special cane work courses to help people over 50 stand up to yobs. So this man knows what he is doing so everything is alright...The course is based on martial arts from around the world that use the sabre, bayonet and staff, adapted specifically for stick users with limited mobility. Typical moves include throws, takedowns and neck hooks which use the crook of the stick for locks and strangleholds as well as gentle exercises using the 3ft canes.

His students, aged 50 to 76, all use an NHS walking sticks and he thinks the classes are going well!! All I have to say is "Well Done" - Because older people don't have much strength and they still need to be able to defend themselves if something bad happens to them...So this man is a life saver!!

Thursday 11th March

Hello and welcome to World Kidney Day!! ...I bet you didn't know that!! It is the day when your kidney's have a little party in your tummy! So if you feel a pain in there some time, it OK - your kidney's are just havin' a good time!

Are you planning to marry your other half soon and you want to do it in a romantic way?? Well you could do something like what this man did... A Chinese man took his girlfriend to visit an aquarium and then shocked her with a surprise proposal - from inside the tank. Sooooo romantic but the Chinese are crazy!! The 28 year-old man had been taking diving lessons in secret from girlfriend Xie Wenzhen, 24, for two months. He told her they were going to witness a friend propose at the Fuzhou Zuohai Aquarium, in Fuzhou, Fujian province.

"Jian said we should go along to get some tips - then he left me in front of the giant water tank saying he was going to get some drinks," said Miss Xie. Suddenly a boy holding a bunch of flowers appeared in the water, and two other divers behind him opened a scroll, reading: "Please marry me!". I was totally stunned, as I realised that the man in the tank was my boyfriend. I never expected I would be taking such a leading role in the proposal. I'm so happy."

Miss Xie put her hands to Mr Wang's and then kissed him through the aquarium glass to signal her acceptance. Awwwwwww! So romantic...So do you fancy doing something like that?! What do you mean it takes to much planning?!

Parents, if your kids are going to be taking their exams soon, make them look at a letter!! Why?! Well this is why... Students could perform better in exams if they spent time looking at the letter A before them. And bizarrely, psychologists say exposure to the letter F can even make a student more likely to FAIL at test! So make sure you give them a good breakfast before they go to school but the food needs to be set out in a way so it looks like an A!! It must NOT look like an F!!

There strange people at the University of Missouri looking at the impact of looking at the letters on 130 students and they found that POINTLESS news out!

Friday 12th March

Good Afternoon Friday people!! BIG NEWS!! The weekend is here at last...It only seems yesterday it was Monday and we was all going back to work/school/college...Wow the weeks fly!! More big news, I have a hot heater fan here at home and just as I was going to write this blog, I turned it on because I was cold...Anyway, I turned it on and it started smoking and smelling of burning so I quickly unplugged it and throw it out my window...! I didn't want to set the house on fire!!

Men, how much do you work? A lot? Well...Men say they do far more housework than they are given credit for - but women don't notice because men "don't make a fuss"....Now that is true sorry ladies! I'm not saying you make a fuss over things or anything...Oh, new report is out, saying that men lie most of the time...! A survey of men said they spent 13 hours a week on household chores including cleaning the lavatory, taking out the rubbish and changing the bed linen.

But 60% of the 1,000 men questioned said their efforts were unnoticed by the woman in their lives because they did not like to make a fuss. Almost half said they felt women were more prone to showing off about the amount of housework they take on. I think I better move on fast before you ladies start shouting at me!

Do you class yourself as a jogger? Yes? Well apparently one in ten joggers have sex every day! This survey took place in the UK, and we have no reason to think the results would be any different here, but we don't really know . . . According to a recent survey, ONE in TEN joggers say they have SEX every day. And 3% say they have sex twice a day. That's compared to ONE in FOUR non-joggers who say they have sex just once a month, or less. --ONE in FOUR joggers admit they go running to help them flirt with members of the opposite sex.

Overall, 10% of men and 5% of women admit they think about sex while jogging. So joggers...Do you agree with this study?!

Monday 15th March

Hellooo my friends! Welcome to the smelly blog...Don't worry, I haven't passed wind, its just where I have been today, the air has smell of poo...I think the farmers have started muck spreading again...EWWWW! It makes me feel sick!! I think I'll have to have a sick day tomorrow if it smells like that in the morning!

Do you ever use the saying; "Wow, my world has been turned upside down"? ...Well now you can have a proper feel of living upside down... A completely upside-down house is to open as a tourist attraction in Germany. Standing on a pointed roof and supported by steel beams in the attic, the house has an upside-down kitchen, bathroom, living room and bedroom. I guess if you live in this house you can't cook...Well that much be a good advantage...Take away every night...WOW!

This bizarre upside-down house was created on the grounds of a zoo in Gettorf, Germany. The roof is reinforced with steel girders. So if you are interested in see how it will be like living upside down, go to Germany...I am surpriced this house ain't in Amercia because they like to do strange big things like this!

Have you ever wanted a number 2 on the motorway...? Well now you can!...And without getting out the car! ...Because Tescos is starting to sell portable toilets...No Joke! FAMOUSLY Tesco said that every little helps. Now it has come to the aid of desperate campers – by selling these portable toilets. Tesco claims it is the first supermarket to sell the £69.99 Campinggaz Portable Toilet, which weighs 11lb 3oz (5.3kg).

...So basically, they are for people going camping and going to festivals but I'm sure you're aim to use them wherever you want to... The store’s camping specialist Stewart Smith said: “It makes camping just that bit more enjoyable." OK, how is going to the toilet enjoyable...Can you explain for me... “Families with young children will find this is a great alternative to that freezing cold walk to the toilet block in the middle of the night.” ...And at least things won't decrease in size...If you get what I mean...

Tuesday 16th March

Helloooooooo!! What a lovely day today has been and I even cut the grass earlier on!! Summer must be near by...Time to dig out the sun cream I think!! I think this evening is going to be a nice one...If only I could spend the other evening today sat in a beer garden with a pint of Guinness and a glass of RED! ...Ah! If only!

When you go in the pub, do you ever try and make something out of playing card?? Yeah...You never get far with out them all falling down again...Well a women has a steady hand because she has made world's largest house of cards!! Its a good job no-one let of wind!! Bryan Berg created a replica of the world's biggest resort hotel - China's Venetian Macau hotel and casino - inside the real thing.

His house of cards, which weighs in at 272 kilograms and measures 10 metres by three metres, was created using 218,792 cards - 4,051 decks - and took 44 days to complete. I wonder how they weighed it because you can't really pick up the whole thing with out it all falling in!! I think the writers of this story made up those numbers...And I bet you it took a lot of time to count all the cards! It sits inside the Venetian at the heart of Macau's Cotai Strip - China's version to the Las Vegas Strip in Nevada's gambling mecca.

No glue or tape was used in the construction of the replica, and Mr Berg is proud of his achievement...Wow, this women has a lot of time on her hands!

Have you ever binned a winner lottery ticket before...? Did you win much on it? I'm wondering because a Maryland man threw away a $250,000 Mega Millions ticket before realizing his mistake and finding it after a 90-minute search! Here is a tip for you, never bin your tickets!! I bet you he turned his home upside down so he could find it...Mind you, wouldn't you!!

Wednesday 17th March

Howdy!! Welcome to the smelly blog once again!! I am getting really feed up now with these farmers spreading their chicken muck every day! If their are any farmers out there, can't you spray something nice after you have to put down the muck to make it smell nicer! Maybe I should invent something...Or maybe not! Ooooh today is the day where everyone drinks loads of Guinness!! Yumm! Its St Patrick DAY!!

What would you do if you have any extra fingers?? Well you would be a good typer on the keybroad! ...I bet you have never seen someone if extra fingers...But there is someone out there! An Indian man is proud of the 12 fingers and 14 toes which have put him in the record books. I can't believe things like that can put you in the record books now a days! The 24-year-old business graduate was born with six fingers on each hand and seven toes on each foot.

This means he is the unofficial record holder for the most recorded number of fingers and toes on a living person. However, he does not hold the Guinness world record which is held by fellow countryman Devendra Harne, who has 12 fingers and 13 toes on his feet. I bet people go up to this man and say, "Can you show me your extra's please?" - I bet!! I would have to have extra fingers, I think 5 is enough!

BIG NEWS!! Kids have been watching porn!! TV bosses have apologised after clips from the Playboy channel were accidentally played on two children's channels in the US. A Time Warner Cable spokesman said a "technical glitch" was to blame for the mistake, which lasted for two hours in part of North Carolina. I wonder why it took so long for someone to report it and for it to get sorted...I say a lot of parents were enjoying it!! - 'Wow, free porn...This is amazing'! I bet they said that!

The company was only made aware of the error after angry parents called in to report it. That also proves that the people who run the channel don’t even watch their own!!

Thursday 18th March

Helloooooo Thursday readers!! Its been another warm day today...Do you think its time to start wearing shorts again because its starting to get warmer now and my legs are getting hot?! hmmmm!! If its sunny and warm next week, I will wear them!! ...And just so you know, I'm not one of those guys who shaves his legs!!

Did you have a egg for breakfast? ...If so, what shape was it?! ...I ask because a hen in China has produced a soft-shelled egg in the shape of a figure eight...THIS IS TRUE!! Mrs Dong, of Shijiazhuang, northern China's Hebei province, first suspected something unusual when she heard the hen making unusual noises one night. Oooooh, it was in China...Thats ok then because loads of strange things happen in that country!!

"I had never heard anything like it before. When I approached she stopped making the noise but as soon as I left she started again," she said. "The next morning, I was so surprised to find the weird-shaped egg in the hen's cage." ... I take that the chicken has some problems...I bet this will be the next thing that will be on shop shelves..."ODD SHAPED EGGS"

Brothels aren't good places to go to because it a fire starts, you're in trouble! A punter's night in a transexual brothel turned out hotter than he'd bargained for when a fire swept through the place trapping him naked on the balcony. The horrified customer risked burning to death rather than reveal his face once he realised TV crews and cameramen were watching the blaze in Basel, Switzerland.

He was only persuaded to leave the balcony when firefighters promised to let him cover his face because he didn't want anyone to know who he was...Mind you, wouldn't you want to cover your face!?