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Friday 19th March

Happy Friday Reader!! The weekend can finally start!!! I've got nothing planned for this weekend...Its meant to rain so I think I might sleep it all away...I might also go down to the gym...Haven't been in ages...Shhhh!! Don't tell anyone!! I'm having a chippy tonight and a Chinese tomorrow...Now that is what you call "The Weekend"!

Have you ever wanted one of those Cloaks that is on the Harry Potter films? ...Well now you can! SERIOUSLY! European scientists say they have developed a prototype 'invisibility cloak', similar to the one off the Harry Potter film!! So if you want to get out of a meeting without anyone looking, all you'll need is one of these cloaks!! British and German researchers say they can hide 3D objects by bending light waves. That is how this cloak works believe it or not! The 'cloak' invented by the European team is the first to work on three dimensions.

So one for human's is out now but the inventer warned that it would be years before anything as large as a person, car or tank could be made to disappear with this technique. Soon, we'll be able to park our cars on double yellows lines without anyone seeing! How good is that!

Baboons ARE WORKING FOR THE GOVERMENT!...Some baboons have been doing some jobs for the goverment to stop us from drinking too much...THIS IS SO TRUE! A pack of wild baboons has taken to raiding a South African vineyard and stealing its Chardonnay grapes.
"They can easily wipe out up to two tons of grapes a week when you are not watching," said the farm's manager. That makes up about 1,500 to 2,000 bottles of wine." See I told you that they were working for the goverment because they want us to cut down on drinking!! But I can't believe they have now got Baboons doing the work for them instead of humans!! Wow, the credit crunch must be hitting home!

Just so you know, I was joking about the Baboons working for the goverment but the rest of that story is TRUE!

Monday 22nd March

Hello my lovely Monday readers!! So here we go again...A start of another week coming to an end...I can't believe how fast today has gone!! I managed to do a bit of gardening on the weekend...Yes in the rain too!! Anyway, if you love your gardening, my advice to you is keep your clothes on while your doing it! ...Because neighbours have complained after a woman started tending her garden while topless...

...Yes this is true, a woman was gardening NAKED!! I would never garden naked because us men have things that hang and it can easier get in the way and get chopped off...Where as women...Well...They don't have things that hang, only those apples but they don't hang that much! Anyway, this woman is called Catharine Pierce, she is 52 and she has been seen several times tending her yard while wearing just a yellow thong and pink gloves. If I saw her, I wouldn't complain...Pierce, from Boulder, Colorado, was the subject of police complaints earlier this week, but the service said she is not breaking any laws....Well Well Well you learn something new everyday!!

The other week, I told you a story on air about these Tiger Woods sex dolls going on sale, WELL Tiger Woods's lawyer has reportedly written a letter to a novelty adult toy store to urge the recall of blow-up dolls and other items based around the golfer...I bet you women are UPSET now...If you have already brought one, treasure it well and have fun!!

Tuesday 23rd March

Helloooo my friends...Yes, it really is Tuesday...Where are these days going...Here is a question for you, What would make you concentrate harder? What about this... Giving pupils an hour's lie-in each morning seems to boost brainpower and cuts skiving! The traditional 9am starts at Monkseaton High School which is a Tyneside comprehensive was pushed back to 10am six months ago and initial results have been promising!!

Also lateness has dropped by 8 per cent and long term absence is down by 27 per cent because of the changes to the start of the school day. And GCSE results in maths and English are loads better on the scores a year ago. Scientits say lack of sleep affects concentration and loads to tantrums!

Would you turn down $1 million? Well you might if you live here in the UK...But... A Russian said to be the world's cleverest man has turned down a $1 million prize for solving one of mathematics' toughest puzzles. Oh stupid Maths...See, Maths doesn't teach you to say "YES" does it! Dr Grigory Perelman, 44, who lives as a recluse in a cockroach-infested flat in St Petersburg, said through the closed door: "I have all I want."

The prize, the equivalent of £660,000, was given by the US Clay Mathematics Institute for solving the Poincare Conjecture. Well Well Well!! I know what you're thinking right now!

Wednesday 24th March

Hellooooo You!! Welcome to the daily blog...Here we talk about stupid things like this... When was the last time you got something stuck on your body? I ask because there is this This Germany toddler had to be cut free from a soup saucepan after trying it on for size while watching his grandmother cooking lunch. Some grandmothers set a bad example you see... Paramedics were called to the family home in Eching, after frantic attempts to remove the pan with soap and then butter failed.

GOOD NEWS! Well, good news for kid...Eventually firemen with special cutting equipment had to slice through the impromptu helmet to free the terrified toddler. "He said he'd wanted to see what the inside of the pot looked like," said one firefighter. "I think he got a better look than he bargained for," said another fire fighter." So next time you get drunk, do go trying odd things on your head because you mightn't get it back off again! If you have a big head...Well use your common sence if you have any!

This must be the worlds dullest robber... A US burglar broke into a sushi restaurant, cooked himself a meal and then fled, leaving his dirty dishes behind. Yes this is true, a man just broke into a restaurant to have something to eat...How random! The food in the bins are cheaper you know!! The hungry intruder broke into the Matsu Sushi Grill, in Hillsdale, New Jersey, through an exhaust fan in the back wall.

Police say the thief ignored the $200 in the till but instead stole some chicken from the freezer, before cooking it with rice in a frying pan. God this man must been really hungry! After eating his meal, he then left a pile of dirty dishes - likely to contain vital evidence and DNA. WHAT AN IDOIT!

Detective Robert Francaviglia told The Record of Bergen County: "He just wanted food, that's it." ...And thats why he left the dirty plates!! He didn't want to wash up because when you go to a posh resturant, you expect someone to do your washing up for you!

Thursday 25th March

Hellooooooo!!! And welcome to another blog!! Yes, I write one everyday and just for you...Hang on thats a lie because I don't write one on the weekend...I like to relax then you see! If you've ever wondered which place in the world, men have the largest average penis size, a maker of custom-fit condoms has your answer. Condomania says that data from its customers shows that men in New Hampshire order the largest sizes.

Oregon, New York, Indiana and Arizona, in that order, were the other states in the top 5. Condomania said it developed the rankings from sales data. Since 2004, the company has sold its TheyFit condoms, which come in 76 sizes. Yes, you can buy Extra extra large for the bigger men!! So there we go, you learn something new everyday! I bet you'll be telling everyone about this now!

Now Football can be one of those sports where anything can happen...A footballer who refused to leave the pitch after he was red-carded got more than a fine and suspension after riot police attacked him with pepper spray...See not everyone wants to get sent off during a football match! The player refused to be sent off after a nasty tackle in the 64th minute. Instead he and four team-mates berated the ref, who felt so threatened he called on police and they turned up and took the man away!

What is it with footballers?!

Kids in America are asked to enter their trainers for a “Rotten Sneaker” contest… Judges sniff every single offensive smelling shoe and the winner is the stinkiest.
This year’s winner was an 11 year old girl who won over £1500…If I entered that competition I would have wanted more money than that! Why would anyone want to snif socks!?

Friday 26th March

It's Friday afternoon and the sun is out...Can it get any better?! Plus it is pay day for some!! Woohoo!! ...As you know, my name is Thin Casey and welcome to my small blog!! I say small because most things about me are...My brain...My mouth...Now, breasts are things you would see on women but there is a man out there who has them...But they are called MAN BOOBS...

Where am I going with this I hear you ask....Well doctors in China have reportedly said that they will not act to reduce a male patient's chest size until they know the cause of his enlarged breasts...Yes this is true before you ask! Farmer Guo Feng, 53, claimed that his breasts get in the way of his manual work and that he is forced to wear a heavy coat to avoid the ridicule of locals!! So basically, if the mens toilets were "out of order", you could just slip of his coat and be a woman...But he would be a pretty ugly one mind you...Sorry, did I just write that...!? Dr Zhang Lilan at the Jinan Chest Hospital in Beijing said: "The man is in every way male except for his enormous breasts. We wondered if he had eaten any poisons or contaminants but have found nothing after testing his blood.

"His genetic material is also normal. It is not a cancer. It seems to be fatty tissue. The best we can suggest is that it is the biggest case of man boobs ever." Usually people's fat would go onto their legs or in their tummies, but the fat on this man make nest on his boobs! HOW ODD!

Do you need to relax? Do you like snake?? Yes, you know where I am going with this...Visitors to a Surrey theme park have been given the chance to enjoy a relaxing massage - from a royal python. Do you fancy a rub down? They were offered the snake massages to help them relax before going on a new ride, called Kobra, at Chessington World of Adventures. "Snake massages are said to produce a feeling of relaxation as the muscles in their bodies stimulate blood flow and massage tense joints," said a spokeswoman. I wonder why this spokeswoman doesn't say her name...I spose if it doesn't work, she doesn't want to be killed!

An Israeli health and beauty spa hit the headlines last year by offering snake massages among its range of treatments. For the equivalent of nearly £50, clients at Ada Barak's spa can have six non-venomous snakes slither across their aching muscles and stiff joints. I would love to know how much the snake gets paid...?!

Monday 29th March

Hello readers and welcome to my blog! God I have been feeling tired today?! I guess the change in hours has effected you too!! Anyway, at least its only a 4 day week this week because of Easter!! "Thank you Easter!" I bet your kids are getting excited because they get to eat chocolate all day! I know chocolate is bad for them but at least they'll be quiet for a few hours!

Just so you know, drunken people do strange things... A US man has been charged with public drunkenness after he tried to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to roadkill. I swear to god this is true!! I think its a bit mean for the man who was drunken...Because he might of loved animals and he might have been upset seeing the animal like that so he thought he would try to bring it back alive... Sorry if you're having your tea right now! Police arrested Donald Wolfe, 55, after witnesses reported seeing him trying to revive a long dead possum.

One reported seeing Mr Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance. Another reported seeing him give mouth to mouth resuscitation to the carcass on a highway north-east of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. State police trooper Jamie Levier said the animal had been dead a while. So there would have been bugs and everything in this animal by then and he was sticking his mouth around his mouth...Well I feel sorry for the next person he kissed!

I don't know about you, but I love modern fancy things, like this... Visitors to the Rio de Janeiro 2016 Olympics could have a watery view as they fly into Brazil thanks to a proposed 345ft man-made waterfall. The Solar City Tower would be tall enough to be seen poking through the clouds on the main aircraft approach into the city. WOW!! That sounds amazing!! Why can't anyone do anything like that here in the UK?! Located on a small island, the sustainable landmark would consist of a solar power plant that by day produced energy for the Olympic village and the waterfall.

Extra power would be used to pump and store water for storage, which would be then released at night to produce a nocturnal supply of electricity. Designed by Swiss architects RAFAA, The Solar City Tower would feature an observation tower, cafe and shops at its summit. The concept was created for a design competition for an Olympic landmark for Rio de Janeiro. There we go men, it sounds a nice place to pose to your wife...! That will be sooooo romantic and your partner would love it!

Tuesday 30th March

Hello my friends and welcome to this thing which we like to call the daily blog! BIG news before we start, Alex Reid, Katies Price's new boyfriend, has insisted that he did not mind when Katie Price confused his name with her ex-husband Peter Andre's during a TV appearance. Have you ever called your partner by your ex's name??? Don't worry, we all make mistakes...

If you consider yourself a beer lover, you're going to love this: A German company has won its fight to trademark 'F**king Hell' as a brand for beer and clothing. The name is seemingly inspired by the Austrian village of F**king, while 'Hell' is also a term for a light ale in Austria and southern Germany. Yeah this is true!! So you'll have to swear to get a pint! Lets just hope that the pub doesn't have a swear box...I wonder if school will allow student to wear clothing by this designer...Hmmmmm!

A complaint that the brand name was derogatory, upsetting and accusatory was rejected by the Trade Marks and Designs Registration Office of the European Union....Until now!! Last year, the German settlement of W**k urged F**king to "cash in" on the fame of its name. So there we go...Keep your eyes out for this company...I don't think you'll miss it!

MORE BIG NEWS!! A goldfish had reportedly survived for seven hours outside its tank when it was presumed dead by its owner. Mr Fish was wrapped in tissue paper and placed in a dry bath for a later burial when 44-year-old owner Carol Norris found its presumed-dead body on Saturday morning. However, when she returned that afternoon to her home in Waterbeach, Cambridge, the 13-year-old goldfish flipped in her hand, prompting her and 40-year-old partner Darren Bradnick to place him - wedged upright - in his bowl. If you do see a fish swimming upside down in its bowl...Just think...It mightn't be dead...It might be resting!

Norris said: "When I picked him up the tissue was stuck to him. I screamed when he flipped in my hand." Bradnick added: "He's a miracle. It's just lucky Carol didn't flush him down the loo." Last August, a goldfish in North Yorkshire survived for a similar length of time behind a fluff-covered dresser after leaping out of its bowl. Oooooo FISH are funny animals...Where would we be without them?! Nothing like living life on the edge!

Wednesday 31st March

Helloooooo!!! The weekend is getting closer!! Ooooo I'm getting so excited and this weekend is going to be a long one because of Easter which means most of use don't have to go into work on Friday and Monday!! A weekend full of drink I think...Any normal person would say here, 'don't drink too much and look after yourself' - but I am not a normal person, SO GO AND HAVE FUN THIS WEEKEND!!

Do you class yourself as being brave and daring...? If so, you will love this! A girls walked over a pen of hungry tigers just by walking on a tightrope...! Sounds fun doesn't it?! But the zoo in Chines where this happened has been slammed for letting the girl do that because she was only THREE-YEARS-OLD!! No joke! She walked eight metres above a tiger enclosure!!! Just so you know, the girl made it all the way without falling in!

She was part of a routine which also involved two adult acrobats who crossed the wire using a bicycle and a ladder as props. But the crowd gasped when three-year-old Zhang Xiaoyan started to walk along the wire, with a thin safety rope attached around her waste. Witnesses said people screamed when she nearly lost her footing on the first step, as a strong gust of wind nearly blew her off the wire. The little girl walked along the wire without even a pole, using just her arms for balance, as the tigers prowled below. One even jumped up towards her.

Horrified visitors criticised the zoo for putting on the stunt which they said amounted to child abuse. I can sort of understand why because that could have ended nasty!! The girl was lucky because everything went to plan! HEY, I've just had a brainwave...If your kids get bored this Easter, I know where you can take them...

...And now, the France has begun another attempt to prevent the invasion of English words in its language by creating new words to replace common Anglicisms...WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO SAY?!

Thursday 1st April

I do believe it is Thursday today...Today is the day when everyone finishes work/school/college for Easter! Woohoo!! So today is the final update because our long weekend starts tomorrow!! The blog won't return until Monday sorry!! I need as much time as possible to eat my Easter Eggs!

Good Friday is tomorrow and it is known for everyone eating HOT CROSS BUNS but a Lincolnshire grandmother has the world's oldest hot cross bun which was baked on Good Friday in 1821!! Don't worry, I don't think she is going to eat it now because I have a feeling its gone past its use by date! Nancy Titman, 91, was given the 189-year-old bun when her mum died and amazingly it shows no traces of mould!! So if you do buy some hot cross buns and your forget to eat them, don't worry because mould doesn't grow on them...Apparently...

The bun has been in her family for generations. "It's a relic which has been passed down through the family. My mum said our ancestors worked in a baker's shop and they believed buns baked on Good Friday didn't go mouldy," said Mrs Titman. "It is rock hard and the currants have disintegrated but you can tell it's a hot cross bun and you can still see the shape of the cross." Who the hell would pass something like that down in their family....Anyway...Sorry if you're eating right now!!

DO YOU WANT TO MAKE YOUR FOOD HOTTER? A chilli grown in Lincolnshire has won the title of the hottest grown anywhere in the world. Whoever eats it can require hospital treatment for mouth blisters and burns!! So my advice to you is that if you see one of these, don't eat it whole!! TAKE NOTE!! The new variety is named Infinity for its 'never-ending' burn, which cannot be quelled by even the best antidote, milk.

It put the notorious Bhut Jolokia, which is so hot it's used in mob-control grenades in India, into second place. So beware of old Hot Cross Buns and HOT CHILLIES!!